The Mighty Big Cross over
by Sarahbethy
Summary: Mulder and Scully meet Buffy, Friends, Dawson's Creek, Faiser, Star Trek and anyone else who crosses their path for the truth.


Please Note: No offence intended towards the English accent (I'm English too) or to anyone else for that matter. This story takes place anytime in Season Six of the X-files and just after Riley visits Buffy but before Xander's wedding in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  
  
1 Make Believe Cases  
  
Skinner's office. The two agents are awaiting his arrival  
  
Scully: Mulder! I told you those tourist were not aliens. We are in so much trouble!  
  
Mulder: Seriously Scully, I can't believe you STILL don't believe me. They were talking in weird accents.  
  
Scully: They were British.  
  
Mulder: Whatever! It's your fault anyway.  
  
Scully: Is not!  
  
Mulder: Is too! You bought me the water balloons.  
  
Scully: You didn't have to throw them at the very British Tourists, that WERE NOT aliens.  
  
Mulder: Still your fault.  
  
Scully: Shut up Mulder. She punches him, he hits her back resulting in a very girlie fist fight. Skinner enters just as the hair pulling begins.   
  
Skinner: Hmmm, Mulder, Scully, when you've quite finished…  
  
Mulder/Scully: I didn't throw balloons, it was her/his fault.  
  
Skinner: What balloons?  
  
Mulder: Pointing at Scully She threw them… at the…  
  
Scully: Grabbing Mulder's finger and pulling it back. Nothing Sir, Mulder's just been sniffing the blue tack again.  
  
Mulder: Rubbing finger Oww  
  
Skinner: Whatever! Just shut up the pair of you and sit the hell down. I have a case for you. Agent Bob Marlene has a problem…  
  
Mulder: With Aliens?  
  
Scully: Dead Bodies?  
  
Mulder: Can I go catch them?  
  
Scully: Can I do an autopsy?  
  
Skinner: No, no, No and NO! Let me finish. Agent Marlene is buying a summerhouse in LA. You are to go undercover in the area to check out the neighbourhood. Make sure it's a crime free area for Agent Marlene before he puts a deposit down.  
  
Mulder/Scully: What???  
  
Scully: That's stupid.  
  
Mulder: How lame arse is that!  
  
Skinner: Skinner's head goes bright red and looks like it is about to explode Don't you two start with me. I wouldn't have to give the pair of you make believe cases if you had behaved.  
  
Mulder: When those mean arse men closed us down you mean?  
  
Scully: Which time?  
  
Mulder: The last time stupid!  
  
Scully: Well there has been so many times! And I'm stupid? At least I didn't think that a worm was the Lock Ness Monster!  
  
Mulder: No one ever believes me. Everybody hates me! It's not fair! Pouts And it was the Loch Ness Monster! I'll get revenge just you wait.  
  
Scully: I'm terrified, I think I'm going to die of laughter any second…  
  
Skinner: Still red and almost exploding. SHUT UP. I was talking here. Anyway, to cut a long story short, Agent Mulder, you can't inflict prank phone calls on the President without expecting to be punished.  
  
Mulder: But there was an Alien in the White House.  
  
Skinner: It was Tony Blair.  
  
Mulder: He talked all funny.  
  
Scully: Mulder you fool, he's English. What is it with you and English people?  
  
Skinner: Just do as you're told Mulder, and stay out of trouble. I'm fed up of spending my Sunday afternoons making up make believe cases for you to investigate.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********************************  
  
Mulder (Still sulking) walks into his office, followed by Scully (Still angry).   
  
Scully: Don't even talk to me Mulder, I can't believe you got us into this stupid case.  
  
Mulder: They'll reopen the X-files by the end of the week. At least we didn't get reassigned this time and they didn't take my office off me. I hate it when they do that.  
  
Scully: I hate this office.  
  
Mulder: (Offended) Scully…  
  
Scully: Get me a desk and a nameplate, then I might consider caring.  
  
Mulder: Don't start that again, we all know what happened last time we went off on one about a desk. How is Mr Tattoo guy anyway?  
  
Scully: Shut up Mulder!  
  
Mulder: Sits down at his desk, finding a sealed envelope What's this?  
  
Scully: Writing her name over Mulder's on his nameplate and not paying attention to him Dunno.  
  
Mulder: His face lights up as he reads and gets excited Scully, I have just found the perfect X-File to investigate whilst we're in LA.  
  
Scully: Oh no, where are we going?  
  
Mulder: It's a small town close by, high death rate, and unusual occurrences…  
  
Scully: MULDER, WHERE ARE WE GOING?  
  
Mulder: Monsters and demons and vampires oh my, Scully, we're going to Sunnydale.  
  
Scully: Sunnydale? With a name like that they're just asking for trouble.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********************************  
  
Sunnydale, at night, so not sunny at all. Dark deserted Street, Sunnydale style.   
  
Spike: Walking along talking to himself. Stupid slayer… thinks she can dump me huh? I'll show her.. no, I'll kill her… I'm the big bad. Yeap, me big bad. Maybe if I write her a poem…  
  
I don't want to be slayed,  
  
I want to get…  
  
No, that will never work. I'll just have to kill her. No… can't do that! Damn! I know… I'll just really scare the next person I see… Yeah, that will make me feel better.  
  
Mulder: Excuse me?  
  
Spike: Pulls the vamp face What?  
  
Mulder: Oh my god, you're a real vampire.  
  
Spike: Huh uh, that's right.  
  
Mulder: This is so cool.  
  
Spike: No, this would be the place where you pucker up and die!  
  
Mulder: Wow. Scully, listen to that accent.  
  
Spike: Not Wow! Grrrr. Argh. Run, hide, and scream! I'm about to bite you, you freak. I'm going to eat you! Why aren't you screaming? You'll bleed to bloody death! The least you could do is give me a scream. Cut me some slack here, would you? I'M THE BIG BAD!!!!!!!!  
  
Scully: Shut up! Slaps Spike's head, and on second though, Mulder's too You're not really a vampire! You can't hurt anyone, you're not real. You can't suck my blood!  
  
Mulder: But Scully, look at the teeth. And did you hear that accent, definitely an alien. An alien vampire, I am so going to be promoted for this.  
  
Scully: HE IS NOT REAL! Watch. She sticks her neck in font of Spike's face and taunts Ok, Mr Bad Guy, suck my blood, come on, I dare you…  
  
Mulder: Please do, I want a new partner.  
  
Spike goes to bite, remembers the chip and screams in pain.   
  
Scully: Laughing He is so not real!  
  
Spike: I am so… hear my roar… Oh it's no use! Does everybody know about this damn chip? Walks off muttering Right… back to the poem… I AM SO real! I'm the big bad! Maybe I could buy her some flowers…Sulks and leaves.   
  
Mulder: That was a real Vampire.  
  
Scully: Was not  
  
Mulder: Was too  
  
Scully: Not  
  
Mulder: Scully, it was.  
  
Scully: Not! Although he was kind of a hunk.  
  
Mulder: Scully! Yuck!  
  
Scully: Shut up Mulder.  
  
Mulder: No!  
  
(The hair pulling and pinching begins once more. Buffy and Willow walk past, see the girlie fight and start laughing.)  
  
Buffy: (Laughing) That's the lamest fight I've ever seen.  
  
Willow: (Laughing) Even Xander can fight better than that.  
  
Scully: Do you mind, we're trying to fight here.  
  
Buffy: Is that what you call it?  
  
Mulder: Yeah, like you could do any better?  
  
Willow: (Seeing the mean sparkling in Buffy's eye) Don't do it Buffy.  
  
Buffy: Hey, he asked for it! (Buffy lightly punches Mulder in the stomach, which sends him flying five meters headfirst into a tomb stone.)  
  
Scully: (Rushing to his side.) Mulder! Oh my god, are you OK? What did you do to him?  
  
Buffy: Who the hell are you people?  
  
Mulder: You've just hit a federal agent, so I think the question should be who the hell are you?  
  
Find out what happens next when 'Slayer Meets Believer'. Next part will be better I promise! 


End file.
